What does this mean?

I thought I was over it, but then... :-/

At least we're okay now, though. Cheers!

December 24, 2011 2:18 AM

I should be sleeping by now but I'm still waiting for someone to tweet...

Been Thinking About You (two)

(two)? Why? Because, I've been thinking about two entities. Ha ha.

Person # 1
I don't know if I should talk to you already. Actually, I've been ready to, tho. But there are times when I think about the (our) past, the anger and pain comes back. You know what really happened. You know it was all your fault why we ended up like this. It just sucks that you've already told other people YOUR side which makes me the villain. I'm not saying that you're the villain in here, it's just that for me, everything became so unfair. Now they think I'm this asshole who put your name in her blog and said awful things about you. Question is, did you (they) even read the WHOLE thing? Clearly, no. You don't know my side, they don't either. So stop judging.

But... Yes, I do miss you. As a friend. Soooo I don't know what to do. Meh. Maybe I'll just go with the flow.

Person # 2
Hi, you're special. I like you.

Yes, ma'am

You pretty much screwed everything up. I will never forgive you and things between us will never be the same ever again. Not even close. 

Post Title

Okay, so, how am I going to start?

Breathe in, breathe out. Okay? Cool.

So, it's really funny how people think that they know everything. That they tell, show, and brag to others that they have gone through a whole lot. And so, they think that they are already smart enough (or cool enough) to "know everything". Don't get me wrong, though. There's really nothing wrong with it. Sure, share what you think. Share what you know. Share what you have. But as the saying goes, too much of everything ain't cool. Lol.

I'll give you a warning, alright? Just don't brag what you have and know. Why? Because in time, you might (or will) get surprised that someone who has been really quiet might end up over shining you.

So, I'll just sit here and watch you do your thing... and mind you, that won't last long. I'm just absorbing and analyzing everything that has been happening around.

Recycled lines

Oh hey, I remember you telling those things to me, too.

I Want You

Disclaimer: Cheesiness at its peak. Wrote this almost 3 weeks ago

I want to tell you already how much I like you, but I value our friendship so much that the thought of it makes me scared as hell. But boy is it hard keeping what I feel inside and bottling it all up, you know? It's like a tug of war. One side's telling me to confess to you already so I won't be having a hard time anymore and we might be "something else". Something greater, something we're both wanting to have. You know what I mean. And, the other's telling me to keep it to myself because: 1) I might break our friendship 2) You might think I', taking advantage of our friendship, of the times we're together. (But trust me, I'm not. I just want to be with you cause it makes me a happy bee) 3) That you'll get annoyed 4) That you'll never talk to me ever again 5) The things between us will never be the same.

But you know what bugs me even more? That what if we can have both. Friendship and... you know what it is. Ahhhh, this is making me crazy!

I don't know, tho. You might end up knowing all about this with this note. I don't know how, but I hope you do so that it would be a lot easier for me... in a way, maybe. 

I like you. I have been liking you since senior year. Legit 2 years. Call me a player or whatever, but damn, who wouldn't like you, really? Yeah, you have so many issues but I really don't care. I mean, I do care but it doesn't matter. I just don't get it why you're insecure about yourself, you know. You're legit beautiful and amazing. 

And by the way, when you're feeling sad, I feel sad too. Just saying. 

I LIKE YOU BUT I LEGIT DO NOT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS. It's really hard when you like your friend. And when she's straight? Hardest.

Oh well. That's about it.

FIN...

P.S. Will I still have the guts to give you your favorite chewy candies later? Will I even see you? Will I even get to talk to you? Or will you even go to school? Gah, so many questions for you but I am too scared of what your answers might be.

P.P.S Hope you're sleeping already. >:D< Sweet dreams, *insertnamehere*. :) I lo... K, not gonna type that.

P.P.P.S You know what? You don't have to try to be drop dead gorgeous. Even if you're in your PJ's, I still find you rather beautiful. Flawlessly beautiful. Trust me.

P.P.P.P.S You're different from all of them and I do find you special. Hope you can feel it, though, *insertnamehere*. I really, really, really like you. 

Worst kind of pain?

Let's face it, everyday is a fucking pain in the ass. You wanna know why? Uncertainties. Of things, time, people, and the like. It is a pain in the ass because you always have to fucking guess what will happen next. You always have to weigh both sides of a situation, and, when you've already chosen what to do, when you've already made up your mind, you are still not so sure if it will come out to be great -- to be okay, at the least. "I'm already sure of what I'm going to do with my life," "I know what to eat for lunch," "I'll be there at 10 am, pronto" but you know, at the back of your mind, there will always be that doubt, that voice, that feeling of holding back, "What if this wouldn't work out?" "Ohh, Sushi sounds so much better than Burritos" "Wait, I think I have to do something before 10 am!" You get what I mean?

And, I know for sure (this is the only thing I know that's constant in life, really. Next to "changes") that the answers of all these uncertainties, is the ability of a person to take risks. Yeah, we wouldn't know what will happen next. We do not have any fucking idea, do we? Yet, when we take risks, we would know. Sometimes though, it'll turn out to be a shipwreck of decisions and choices but hey, at least we tried.

Unfortunately, taking risks isn't still my forte. I still play safe in everything. And that is why everyday is a fucking pain in the ass for me.